Ron Swanson Took My Politics Class!

Posted on May 1, 2014 by


Ron Swanson took my politics class!

In my introductory government class, I had an exam turned in by “Ron Swanson.” I am attaching pictures of this piece of genius that some student took the time to craft, either instead of, or in addition to, their examination. I have no doubt that if Ron Swanson, of Parks and Recreation fame, were forced to take my class, this is precisely how he would have answered my final exam questions. In short, well done, whoever you are.

The exam included some multiple choice questions where Mr. Swanson supplied his own answers to my questions. One question was: “Which of the following is a formal constitutional requirement for becoming president?” Mr. Swanson wrote:

f: I believe government should be one man sitting in a small room whose only power is to decide when to nuke someone.

For those unable to read it, here are some excerpts from the “answers” to my short essay questions:

The following few sentences will be in response to all six questions. Government is pointless. It does nothing. Kids should not have to take a class learning about government as if it were important.

I despise liars. There’s only one thing I hate more than lying and that’s skim milk. Because it’s water, lying about being milk. I also hate dogs that weigh less than fifty pounds. Any dog that weighs under fifty pounds is a cat. And cats are pointless. Like government.

No matter what, this essay has found its way to the pinnacle of my Swanson Pyramid of Greatness.